epic fail 2010

i have a mantra (one of many, duh) that i apply to many aspects of my life –from deciding on dinner to picking out a pair of boots–and here it is:

i don’t know what i want. i just know what i don’t want.

i guess that explains why i’m an UBER-discerning shopper. it can be infuriating when it takes me two seasons past the introduction of a new style to find the perfect boot, or handbag, or whatever–but i can’t help it.

i refuse to impulse buy because i don’t like buyer’s remorse. it’s a shitty feeling.

call me specific –or picky, or weird–but i like to let my tastes marinate a bit before buying. i like to whet my appetite, you know? few items have the ability to automatically trigger the phrase, “do you take amex?”

and i don’t believe in settling. it doesn’t work in relationships and it definitely doesn’t work in shopping.

so i take my time, even though it totally sucks not having the item i want when i’m constructing outfits in my head. (yes, i construct outfits in my head before getting dressed. think cher’s computerized wardrobe in the *awesome* movie, “clueless”–but in my brain). basically it involves flipping through the rolodex of clothing and shoe options that i own in my head while standing partially clothed in front of the floor-length mirror in my third bedroom closet. after constructing a completely styled look from head to toe in this manner, i then s-”kim” it down, which means that i take away all the pieces that might make the outfit uncomfortable in any way. of course, this explains why my wardrobe consists of way too many oversized sweaters and knits as of late, and also why i don’t rotate my heels as often as i probably should… but i digress.)

i’ve been on the hunt for the perfect over-the-knee (ovk) boot style that fits like a custom-made riding boot that extends all the way up, with a few strategically-placed buckles (when i find them–and i WILL find them–i’ll be sure to post a pic). since i’ve been completely one-track mind on the whole ovk thing, i’ve managed to completely overlook these enzo angiolini ‘saylem’ riding bootsthey aren’t ovk, but hey. these are some sweet everyday boots. of course i saw them a few times over the past year and thought i should probably buy them, of course i never did, and of course they’re completely sold out now. grrrr. fail. epic fail. unless i find these somewhere soon, i’ll continue to do what any sore loser would: stare sadly at the perfect boots i might never own and wave the white flag while posting a picture of them up on my blog as a reminder of what could have been. boo-phecking-hoo.

to be strange

personal style is one of those things that isn’t static; it changes daily and sometimes hourly. i’ve always struggled to break out of the box in terms of style originality–not individuality, which is on sale in most magazines these days, but true originality. i think it’s because truly original style requires some element of strangeness, and for most of my life i’ve made it a point to develop an understated style. (i think there are many stylists and editors who would agree that although it’s fun to style a client or model into a super trendy look, when it comes to ourselves often times we tend to stick with a uniform that’s chic yet subtle–and it isn’t always like that, but it’s not uncommon.)

i can’t remember what magazine i read it in, or who exactly said the words, but some fashion genius once said something to the effect of: “i always try to have one strange element in my outfit.” and we’re not talking subtle strangeness here–we’re talking gold boots in the garden.

for me, that little nugget of style advice–tossed casually from the mouth of some chanel exec during an interview–was golden. so now anytime i get into a fashion rut (which involves my utter inability to style myself into anything original) i remember those words of wisdom and proceed to throw some random element in. adding some strangeness to an otherwise generic look does wonders for the development of personal style, not to mention your outfit for the day.

with that said, for the past few weeks i’ve been marching to the beat of my own drum with my new chanel oversized frames. see?they’re vintage looking since they have some denim on the sides, plus it’s a total exaggeration of the geeky look. (random note: apparently some people take offense to the term “nerd” since the term denotes less empowerment or something.)

so okay, the oversize eyeglass thing is nothing new (i get that). but mine are a little larger than most and, i think, unexpected on an asian person. lately i’ve been getting a lot of compliments and a few confused stares. but whatever. it’s a good sort of self-conscious feeling that i’m getting used to. i’ve realized that the more i break out of my comfort zone the more i want to do it more often–if that makes any sense. i used to be a stickler about cohesive looks and things that “go” together–and i still am, but–nowadays i find myself more open to experimentation with random shit. it’s kinda liberating.

open mic night

on tuesday night i attended an open mic event for the first time. it’s called train of thought and i just gotta say that it was freaking awesome. there were a couple of different types of acts (music, dance, etc.) but going there really convinced me that anyone who has not yet explored the realm of spoken word or slam poetry should definitely do so. it was really kind of amazing. although i’m still very much a newbie to the genre myself, i’m definitely interested in seeing some more performances sometime in the future. oh, and rudy francisco is one extremely talented dude. i freaking cried. it was awesome. he’s a gifted performer and what he was saying was really powerful and thought-provoking (he’s on fb if you wanna look him up). the experience got me thinking about all the mass-manufactured crap we get from the mainstream on a daily basis, and why i haven’t tried harder to avoid it in the past. at any rate, it was cool to get a taste of the local talent. <sigh> i need to get out more…

the cave…redesigned

for the past few months i’ve been pretty much living in the cave which is my house. i’m hell-bent on redecorating the entire place, so i’ve been really bad and neglecting everything else like friends, birthdays, fingernails, fashion, and the like. but i promise once this biatch of a project is done i will have a party and you’re all invited. thank GAWD things are finally starting to come together around here, which means that i’m ready to rant on my experiences. so for everybody who has been asking me, “where have you been?” and “what the hell are you doing to your house?” this is for you:

• basically what i’ve been doing is painting, painting, and more painting
• i’ve been living part time at home and part time at the home depot
• i used to hide clothes from husbie when he got home before me. now i hide paint samples
• i used to do the rounds at urban outfitters, american apparel, nordstrom, and LF. now i’m a regular at pier 1, crate and barrel, and west elm
• i haven’t bought clothes for MONTHS <shudder>

the whole thing really shouldn’t have taken this long, but i got totally blindsided by the color selection process. it’s funny, because when it came to painting, i thought that color selection would be the easy no-brainer part. i went to a design school, for gawd’s sake. like an idiot (or a beginner) i thought it would be ok to just bring home the color swatches, test it in the light of each room, and that would suffice. so that’s what i did. i didn’t take home any actual paint samples and paint them on my walls. and now my advice to anybody out there who is thinking about doing the same thing is: don’t be an idiot.

but yeah, i totally did that at first and i ended up with an office (which was supposed to be a chic gray with a refreshing green accent wall) turned out to be a lavender and lime green disaster. oh yeah, and let’s not forget the bathroom that went first from lime green to purple.

i was like, “MOTHER——!!!”

it turns out that natural light will really mess with ya.  so to make a ridiculously long story short, i marched my ass over to home depot (where i am now acquainted with the entire paint staff and their individual schedules, and someone never fails to ask me, “you’re back?”) and in the end, after 20 or so samples and endless color-matching inquiries, i found a single gray that worked in my house. it’s benjamin moore nimbus and it has a brownish undertone. freaking gorgeous woohoo! i was so happy that Husbie and I decided to use it in three areas upstairs.

and then there was the business of the ikea furniture. did you know it’s not real wood? <gasp>

well i sure as hell didn’t! so i tried to stain my desk (and my oak cabinets in the hall bathroom) and to make another long story short, i ended up with a crapload of toxic waste and a house that reeked of paint thinner (because husbie didn’t buy the odorless kind even though it is right next to the toxic fumey one at HD. but i digress.)

so after several failed attempts at wood staining (which included a power sander and a series of nervous breakdowns), i basically said “F-this.” i ended up painting all of my cabinets and ikea furniture black, and now it just ROCKS. for anybody who’s interested, i used zinsser 123 primer and a custom black on the ikea stuff and gripper grey primer with glidden black onyx paint on my cabinets. i used the water-based minwax poly on top of everything and voila! it looks purdy.

and then we painted the downstairs white (behr silky white) and the upstairs hallway a charcoal gray (behr creek bend). our next project will be painting the kitchen charcoal to match the upstairs hallway.

(i know people are probably like, where are the pics? but i kinda feel funny about posting pics of my house online. call me paranoid, but it’s sort of like a privacy thing LOL. but who knows, maybe when it’s all done if it looks amazing then i will post a few)

oh, and i discovered a kick-ass website along the way: www.younghouselove.com. these guys are so cute and they basically diy’d their entire house. their “how to” page is my favorite; they tell you how they went about doing everything and their advice on painting and diy decor is awesome. this website helped to convert a clueless girl obsessed with clothes into a home improvement maniac.

now that things are finally under control around here (i’m writing from my new and improved office hehe) i think i’m gonna start digging into the pile of mags that have accumulated in the mail over the past few months. i’ve been way too out of touch with the whole fashion thing. hopefully in the near future i’ll have a mind-blowing shopping spree and blog all about it. hehe

uh-oh. addict

I consider shopping as a veritable sport because it’s fun and has many health benefits. It’s competitive and it burns calories. It makes me sweat. I feel good and look great afterwards. It can also be a team sport. But shopping can be really dangerous, especially for people who are prone to addictive behavior or who are struggling to establish their own identity. It’s sad that some people define themselves through their material possessions, but it’s no crime–we all do it sometimes. But once a person loses control over reason and her wallet, she enters into what is commonly referred to as The Dark Side.

My descent into the fiery abyss was expedited by my short-lived stint as a sales associate in a local boutique. Big mistake. I had to quit after six months. But let’s be real—for the first two months, I sold to other people. The remaining four months were dedicated to shopping for me. Lesson learned: never, EVER, put a girl with a shopping problem into her favorite store—where she gets an amazing employee discount—for eight hours a day, and then tell her she shouldn’t buy anything. Who are you f***ing kidding?? Oh, the agony of selling something you want to someone else and then watching them leave with it!! Is it bad when you talk someone out of something because you want it for yourself? Well, I did it once. Bad girl.

But I’m working on it. I’m talking to friends. I’m practicing “just saying no.” I restrict myself from purchases if I feel that I’ve been spending too freely. I’m lucky that I realize I have a problem, and that I can control myself (to an extent). I understand that “The Want” is the result of forecasting and ingenious product marketing. I understand that there are people starving in the world. I understand that having a shopping problem is a frivolous complaint during bad economic times like these. But I want, nonetheless…

intense…then along came the shoes

things got weird really early this morning. i was cleaning and when i switched off the vacuum i heard a loud humming sound coming from the patio. at first i thought it was the devil cat’s automatic water fountain running on empty, but it SO wasn’t.

turns out there’s a giant beehive full of swarming bees right outside my patio!! great. i’m such a big fan of nature. not.

the association sent the pest company over. apparently it’s bee migration season, everybody! big woopee. the rep told me that since bees can’t see at night, they have built the hive as a temporary protection for the queen bee (that spoiled bitch!)… he basically told me i was SOL since he can’t reach the hive because of the positioning of the tree branch upon which it has been built. so i’m to keep an eye out and hopefully the bees will move on in a few days. otherwise they’ll call in the forklift.

oh, and after i witnessed the swarm of bees this morning i discovered that thumper had eaten my eyeglass cloth and taken a bite out of a flower i had placed on the kitchen counter… i left him downstairs when he began to fight with a pen… he is a strange kitty.

anyway, this morning was INTENSE. kind of like these dior bonnie stamped croc wedges that i just happened to stumble across during my daily stroll along saks fifth avenue (.com)

i know it’s sort of maudlin to quote poetry in regards to fashion, but–”did my heart love till now?”  i want these shoes like my fat cat wants kibble. will somebody puh-leeze buy them for me already?!

fashion police…is anyone listening?

i just tried to sit through an episode of fashion police, and jesus freaking h! granted, i don’t watch that show if i can help it (for the sake of my well-being) but the academy awards show was on so i was kinda curious this time. but i just about lost my shit when i heard them (joan rivers, juliana what’s her name, khloe kardashian, and the guy with the silver hair) bashing on people. first of all…

the oscar ceremony exists to honor the achievements of some truly kick-ass individuals, any one of whom could seriously wipe the floors with any “critic” in the fashion police seat. take penelope cruz for example. they didn’t like her outfit. really? i think that on any given day, 99.98% of the human population would rather take penelope cruz’s fashion advice (or life advice, for that matter) over the advice of the fashion popo panel.

secondly, these people obviously spent a lot of time getting ready. they might have felt really good about themselves until they got hit with the bs (and if you really think about it, if there’s a person to blame it’s probably their stylist). 

i’ve always followed fashion because it’s a great way to get creative without actually having to create, if that makes any sense. it makes people feel good about themselves, and when you put on a great outfit it can be really empowering–that’s what i love most about the industry. it’s sad that anybody could get their kicks off bashing on somebody else’s bad fashion choice. i’ll admit, i judge too. but i’m not malicious about it because i have a conscience which– i’m happy to say–in most cases, wins over my ego.

oh, and if anybody cares, i thought anna kendrick looked a-MAZING

east coast vs. west coast fashion

A while ago, I was asked to contribute to an article on fashion east vs. west. Naturally, I was more than happy to give my take on style from a west coast perspective.  Here’s a clip from the article I wrote for i-studentlife.com, if anybody’s interested.

East Coast vs. West Coast Fashion

Glamourous Beach Culture Dominates in Southern California

Fashion on the west coast is an evolution of sunshine chic. When the weather is a constant seventy degrees, where you have beautiful beaches and Hollywood in your backyard, you’ll also find image-conscious locals who prefer comfort above all. What New York refers to as ‘wardrobe staples’, we call ‘work wear’. Sundresses, tank tops, sandals, and yes — the occasional flip flop — dominate the fashion scene here. Yet, where the style is basic, you’ll soon discover that glamour is all there — in the details…

Read the full article here: East Coast vs. West Coast Fashion

shopping etiquette

i’m no stranger to retail (my worn, overworked amex will attest to that). but actually working retail has made me realize that there are many consumers who aren’t privy to the all-important retail code of conduct. newsflash, people! shopping etiquette — it does exist. there are rules to bear in mind the next time you visit your favorite boutique or department store, and this isn’t just me bitching about my retail job. this may seem obvious to some, but for those who hate the attention of sales associates, get bad service, or just need a crash course in shopping 101, these tips may very well be your golden ticket to better service at saks:

1. say hello back and make eye contact. salespeople are humans too.
2. don’t touch if you don’t intend to buy, and don’t pretend. think about it: the shirt was folded before you came along.
3. be honest about what you’re prepared to spend (or not spend). you can’t expect a salesperson to read your mind, and if you’re walking into a store then it’s only natural for he/she to assume that you are coming in to buy something. salespeople won’t snub you if you tell them that you’re really “just browsing.” it’s your right. however, you will piss them off if you pretend you’re going to buy up the store and then don’t. the reason is simple: salespeople are supposed to sell. it’s their job. so if you’re giving the impression that you want to buy, then they are required to make an effort to answer your questions, follow you around, show you stuff. most of the time, the staff doesn’t mind helping you. they just don’t like being led on (and neither would you!).
4. don’t put up with bad service. if a salesperson is rude, call him/her out on their behavior.
5. it’s ok to ask whether there are products on sale, just don’t ask for a random discount. example: “i like these shoes. can you give me a discount?”
6. if you think the products are overpriced, inquire about the quality of the fabric and construction. don’t ask, “why are the clothes so expensive?” if you think the price point is ludicrous, don’t announce it to the world. just leave.
7. don’t touch the mannequins.
8. don’t badmouth the merchandise in front of a salesperson or another customer.
9. don’t touch the merchandise if your hands are dirty.
10. it’s ok to walk into a store right before closing time if you’re truly interested to see what products are on offer, just keep your hands to yourself as you walk through. if you want a particular item, ask a salesperson to get it for you so that you don’t make a mess of the merchandising right before they close.

oh, betsey…

last night i made a promise that i would spend less and save more. you can probably tell where this is going…

well, today i heard through the grapevine that a buy-one-get-one sale is on at betsey johnson and ends tonight! oh snap! forget the groceries! forget going home after work to feed the devil cat! to hell with it all, i’m off to find bridesmaid dresses at half price!

and isn’t betsey the best? i love her quirky shoes, funky dresses, and adorable accessories. i get on this whimsical high every time i walk into a betsey johnson store – it’s like entering an electric-pink-and-leopard-spotted wonderland. tonight was no exception, the staff was super friendly and helpful and the merchandise was as cute as ever. too bad the dresses i wanted weren’t on sale (isn’t that just the luck?), but i still didn’t walk away empty-handed.

two pairs of (fabulous) ballet flats later, i’m sitting here at the computer trying to type away the buyer’s remorse and the overwhelming guilt <sigh> i’ve done it again.

to be continued…